Those who die without being forgotten get longevity.- Lao Tze
Working as a physician gives me the privilege to see births and deaths almost every day. Mitch Albom once said in his book ” Tuesdays with Morrie“- The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
Most people live their lives believing that materialistic pursuit is the greatest achievement in life. We chase after bigger pleasures in life- a bigger car, a more expensive watch, a more grandiose home. One day, we finally realize on our deathbeds that the most important parts of life are tiny events slipping through without you realizing it- playing with your kids on the beach, kissing your wife good night, and telling your parent how much you love them.
My dying patients told me stories about what they missed most in their lives. They regretted they did not discover what life was all about until before they were dying. They taught me about telling people you love most about your feeling.
I would like to see these 5 people again before I die and tell them how I feel about them.
# 1 – My Wife
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
Audrey Hepburn
Thank you so much for being a part of my life. I would not be a stronger and better person without you. You made me realized the power of love. A life spent with you is the most beautiful thing because you were always so caring and loving.
You were with me during the most difficult moments in my life. Remember the time we were both medical officers (MOs) in the public service? We worked hard to build our family and you were the one who spent the most time with the kids. I was sorry to be absent while our sons were sick during my training in Kuala Lumpur.
You once said if I could live up to 80 years, you wished to live up to 78 years old minus one day so that you would pass on before me. You said you couldn’t live without me.
Our family was always full of laughter and love because of you. If I could live my life all over again, I would take you as my wife again.
# 2 – My Mum
Thank you for raising me. Even though I was born after father’s death in a motor vehicle accident, you were strong enough to single-handedly raise up 4 children on your own. You did not abandon me because some conservative Chinese might think I was the one who brought bad luck to the family.
You taught me about ups and downs in life and not everything in life would work out the way you want it to be. I learned from you that the pain would pass and the time would come if we were persistent enough.
Even though with limited resources and money, you worked hard and believed in miracles. You convinced me to listen to my heart and study to achieve my goal in life.
I must apologize to you for my rebellious acts during my teenage years. I purposely kept my hair long while working in a factory after my SPM ( O level ) exam to irritate you.
Yes, I once hated you because our home was full of noises after you decided to babysit a newborn baby while I was preparing for my SPM exam. I realized later that that was necessary because we were just too poor. Blood and sweat money was the most precious thing in our lives.
# 3 – My Sons
Both of you are my angels in life. I was sorry I couldn’t spend more time with you during your childhood. Papa was working hard to save money for your education and forgot about spending precious time with both of you.
Taking care of both of you with your mum was the most fulfilling part of our lives. You taught me how to be a selfless and humble father. Going through life with both of you enlightened me that stumbling blocks could become stepping stones if you chose.
Remember that we were supposed to finish an Amazon children book project? And yes, our dream of building Goh and Sons’ hotel empire in the world?
Don’t give up your dream even though how hard people say it was. Follow your heart and your dream. It always seems impossible until it is done!
I wish both of you good luck. Before any great victory, one often experiences an enormous defeat. Failures are just ingredients of any success! Be patient and enjoy every moment of your life and take care!
# 4 – My Sisters
It was wonderful to grow up with three sisters. All of you taught me to be gentle and kind. I was once worried I might be too feminine because of you until I found out Tom Cruise is always as masculine as a man can be with three sisters too!
Thank you for being so supportive of every endeavour I made. For the first time, I felt our family has enough money after you started working and supported mother in every way you could.
And yes, I was overjoyed when you bought a new Proton Iswara with your hard-earned saving. You made me felt secured again for the first time in my life that I did not need to wake up at nights worrying about money again.
You gave me your car so that I could be a proud car owner during my 4th-year medical school at the university. It was the only way to impress a girl you said! But I still disappointed you because no girl was attracted to a timid and low self-esteem man liked me.
I thanked you from the bottom of my heart for the money you loaned me to buy my first property. If one day we could meet again in heaven, it would be nice if we could play ‘masak-masak’ ( cooking game) again which we enjoyed most during our childhood.
# 5 – People I love and people who love me
I was loved by friends, in-laws, patients, and relatives. I knew I couldn’t make everyone happy in life. Thanks for the love you gave me even though you all knew I was not perfect.
The suffering my patients experienced gave me the strength for deep spiritual growth. The saddest part of life lies not because of dying but rather failing to truly live while we are alive. I learned from patients to appreciate every moment of life.
Adversity in life made me a simple man who appreciated small pleasures. I could be happy for days because of a stranger’s smile or my papaya tree flowered and fruited.
Conclusion
At the end of our lives, what will be most important is who we have become and the difference we have made.
Robin Sharma
Life is too short to be little. Stop being too hard on your self, appreciate minor events in life.
Look around you because what you are looking all this while might be just beside you.
Have a dream in life, the only thing standing between you and your dream is the fear of failure. Work hard towards your dream, live your life and enjoy every second of it.
