“Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!” – Ingrid Bergman
As I stand on the precipice of my 50th year, a profound sense of introspection washes over me, acknowledging the undeniable passage of time and the nearing eventuality of life’s cycle. My journey through a continuous 24-year career, commencing in 2001, has been an extraordinary journey filled with both profound joy and poignant sorrow. In these two decades and a half, I have been privileged to witness the most heartwarming stories of human resilience, compassion, and triumph – moments that have reaffirmed my belief in the inherent goodness of humanity.
Yet, this privileged path has also laid bare the harsh, heartbreaking realities of life, revealing the depths of despair, the struggles against adversity and suffering, and the stark inequalities that persist. Each experience, whether uplifting or challenging, has served as a crucible, shaping my perspectives and deepening my understanding of the human condition.
I have learned to appreciate the fleeting beauty of moments, to empathize with the struggles of others, and to find strength in the face of life’s inevitable complexities. This prolonged engagement with the vast human experiences has not merely been a professional endeavor but a profound personal odyssey, leaving an indelible mark on my soul and preparing me, in a quiet and contemplative way, for the next chapter of this remarkable journey. I would like to share with you what I have learnt so far along this journey.
#1 Life is damn short
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned through nearly a quarter-century in medicine is the undeniable brevity of life. From witnessing sudden, unexpected departures of my friends around me to the gradual decline of prolonged illness of my patients, the fragility of human existence is a constant, stark reminder. This understanding has profoundly shaped my perspective, reinforcing the urgency to live intentionally and to cherish every moment.
It underscores the importance of prioritizing what truly matters—relationships, experiences, and personal growth—over transient concerns. Ultimately, the finite nature of life implores us to embrace the present, pursue our passions, and make a meaningful impact while we have the opportunity.
“You only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough.” This statement encapsulates a philosophy of intentional living, suggesting that the quality of our single existence far outweighs its mere duration. It’s not about how many years we accumulate, but rather how fully and meaningfully we inhabit each one. Yes life is short, we all have to start living rightly today and not merely surviving.
# 2 You don’t belong to your workplace but you home
Working as a medical professional for 24 years has taught me a profound truth: your workplace is merely a setting for your professional endeavors, but your true belonging lies within the sanctity of your home. The hospital, clinic, or operating theatre, while demanding dedication and long hours, ultimately remains a transient space. It is a place of tasks, responsibilities, and professional interactions, but rarely one where your deepest emotional and personal needs are met.
Your home, however, is your sanctuary—a place of comfort, security, and genuine connection. It is where you can truly be yourself, free from the pressures and expectations of your profession. It is where your family, your loved ones, and your personal passions reside, offering a vital counterbalance to the demanding nature of work.
Prioritizing your home life and nurturing these relationships is not just about work-life balance; it’s about anchoring your identity and well-being in the place where you are most truly accepted and loved, ensuring that your life extends far beyond the confines of your career.
#3 Materialistic possession is fickle, it won’t make you happy
From observing countless lives and their endings, a truth has emerged: materialistic possessions are inherently fickle and offer no genuine path to lasting happiness. The relentless pursuit of accumulating wealth, grand homes, luxury cars, or designer goods often proves to be an empty endeavor, leaving behind a trail of fleeting satisfaction. It is what we call hedonic treadmill, proposed by Brickman and Campbell in 1972 claiming that the tendency for people to quickly return to their original, stable level of happiness after major positive or negative life events. I call it materialistic orgasm, the transient euphoria you feel on bed that won’t last for than 1 minute.
True contentment and fulfillment are instead found in intangible assets: genuine human connections, meaningful experiences, personal growth, and contributing positively to the lives of others. The temporary euphoria of a new purchase quickly fades, replaced by the desire for the next acquisition, perpetuating an endless cycle of longing.
Ultimately, the most cherished moments and deepest joys in life are rarely tied to what we own, but rather to whom we share our lives with and the richness of our lived experiences. As Epictetus said before, “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
#4 Patience is the most vital part of everything in life
I’ve come to understand that patience is not merely a virtue, but the most vital, foundational element in nearly every facet of life. In a world increasingly driven by instant gratification and rapid results, the art of waiting, observing, and persevering has become a lost treasure.
In medicine, patience is paramount. Diagnoses often unfold slowly, treatments require time to take effect, and recovery is rarely a linear path. Rushing a diagnosis can lead to grave errors, while prematurely abandoning a treatment can deny a patient their best chance at healing. It is the patient doctor who truly understands the nuances of an illness, the subtle signs of improvement, and the resilience required for a full recovery.
Beyond the clinical setting, patience governs our personal growth and relationships. Building strong bonds and friendship, waiting for your true love, raising children, or nurturing a skill—each demands a sustained, unhurried investment of time and effort. Impatience breeds frustration, leads to hasty decisions, and can shatter delicate connections. It is through patient listening, patient understanding, and patient forgiveness that true depth and resilience are forged in human interactions.
Financially, patience is the cornerstone of long-term success. Whether it’s saving for retirement, investing in a volatile market, or growing a business, instant riches are often precarious. The steady, disciplined accumulation of assets, weathering market fluctuations, and resisting impulsive decisions are all manifestations of profound patience.
Ultimately, patience is an acknowledgment of life’s natural rhythms. It is the wisdom to understand that some things cannot be forced, that progress often involves periods of stillness, and that true rewards are often found at the end of a long, unhurried journey. Cultivating patience allows us to navigate challenges with calm resolve, appreciate the process as much as the outcome, and find peace in the unfolding of life itself. It is, in essence, the key to unlocking true resilience and enduring fulfillment.
#5 Life is unpredictable, so stop worrying about things you couldn’t control
This realization, perhaps the most liberating of all, is that life is inherently unpredictable, and therefore, much of what happens is beyond our control. We spend an exorbitant amount of energy worrying about future outcomes, dissecting past mistakes, predicting market’s direction and attempting to micromanage circumstances that are, by their very nature, fluid and uncertain. This incessant worrying is not only exhausting but also futile, as it prevents us from truly engaging with the present and adapting to whatever challenges or opportunities arise.
Embracing the unpredictability of life means acknowledging that plans can change, circumstances can shift dramatically, and unforeseen events can alter our trajectory in an instant. It means understanding that while we can prepare, we cannot guarantee. The wisdom lies in distinguishing between what we can influence—our attitudes, our efforts, our responses—and what we cannot—the actions of others, global events, or sudden misfortunes.
“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” – John Allen Paulos
By letting go of the need to control the uncontrollable, we free ourselves from the emotional burden of anxiety and disappointment. This isn’t about apathy or resignation; it’s about cultivating a profound sense of resilience and adaptability. When we stop expending energy on what might go wrong and instead focus on how we will respond to whatever comes, we become more resourceful, more present, and ultimately, more at peace. This allows us to navigate life’s inevitable twists and turns with greater equanimity, finding strength in our ability to adjust rather than in a false sense of control.
#6 At the end, nothing matters, learn what enough is
My 24 years in medicine have culminated in a profound, yet simple, realization: in life, much of what we chase ultimately holds little intrinsic value at the end. This isn’t a cynical outlook, but rather an observation born from witnessing countless lives reach their conclusion, and a powerful lesson in understanding true contentment.
We often live in a state of perpetual striving – for more money, more prestige, more possessions, more accolades. Society constantly nudges us towards the next achievement, the next acquisition, fueling a belief that “more” equates to “better” or “happier.” Yet, at life’s final chapter, these external markers of success or accumulation rarely offer comfort or fulfillment. The size of one’s bank account, the number of luxury items owned, or the professional titles held fade into irrelevance.
What remains, what truly matters, are the relationships we’ve nurtured, the kindness we’ve extended, the experiences we’ve cherished, and the genuine connections we’ve made. It’s the laughter shared, the quiet moments of support, the impact we’ve had on others’ lives, and the simple joys we allowed ourselves to embrace. These are the treasures that accompany us, not the material wealth we leave behind.
This understanding compels us to learn the crucial lesson of “enough.” It challenges the pervasive myth that happiness lies just beyond the next milestone or purchase. “Enough” is not about settling for mediocrity; it’s about recognizing when our needs are met, when our lives are rich with purpose and connection, and when further pursuit of material gain becomes a distraction rather than an enhancement. It’s about finding peace in the present, appreciating what we have, and consciously choosing to step off the treadmill of endless desire.
By understanding that, at the end, nothing truly “matters” in the way we often perceive it during our busy lives, we are freed to live more intentionally, to prioritize genuine human flourishing over superficial achievements. It empowers us to shed the burdens of constant striving and instead cultivate a life rich in meaning, connection, and profound contentment, understanding that true wealth is measured not by what we accumulate, but by how we live and love.
Conclusion
The turning of 50 years old represents a truly significant milestone in my life. Far from being an endpoint, or even the initial phase of decline, I choose to view this moment as a vibrant “end of the beginning.” It’s a powerful and exciting demarcation, signaling the completion of one grand chapter and the exhilarating commencement of another.
This new adventure isn’t just a continuation; it’s a fresh canvas, a renewed sense of purpose, and an opportunity to explore uncharted territories within myself and the world around me. The wisdom accumulated over five decades provides a solid foundation, not a limitation. It’s an invitation to embark on new passions, deepen existing connections, embrace challenges with greater resilience, and discover aspects of life yet to be experienced.
Conscience, that inner voice of moral guidance, will forever serve as my unwavering compass throughout the journey of life. It is the silent arbiter of right and wrong, the steady hand that steers me through ethical dilemmas, and the profound wellspring of my integrity.
